cinnamon jelly beans.

That is how it started today, really started.  Junior went into our bedroom without permission and stole some candy.  It obviously isn’t about candy.  Our kids don’t eat candy very regularly so had he ASKED for candy he could have had some.

I’m hurt and scared that he stole them.  I’m scared that this is not a phase he is going through and that it will lead to a life of crime.  It can be immensely difficult to break free from a life of drugs, alcohol, and other shady things.  I am deeply deeply afraid that my son is heading down that road.  He is almost 8.  I do not know if these are my own demons looking for a new home or if this is his own journey.

I have a past that I am not proud of.  I have changed in ways that I have never thought possible, but this isn’t my story today.

I am hurt because I would give my son anything I could to make him a well-rounded ,safe and happy boy.  Am i messing this whole parenting thing up?

The other day  I was lamenting “what am I doing wrong with this kid; I must be the worlds worst parent”  when the woman in charge of our sons before and after school program relayed to me that the group leaders along with herself relayed to me that the love how you parent the boys.

The truth is I am a hybrid parent.  I am usually very tough on the boys because the level of structure they need  equals the amount of plastic surgery done on Joan Rivers, Cher and Meg Ryan combined.  I love them, but TIm and I don’t let a whole lot slide.  Under that tough exterior I am part squishy teddy bear and part king of the jungle.  My sons can warm my heart in an instant, sincere or not, and though usually I am declaring that I will indeed handle this issue with them when we get home, I will disembowel, filet, dice into bits any person who gets out of line with either of my sons.

Just last week I learned that Junior was getting up and sneaking out of class to go on “adventures” without an adult during the school day.  First things first, I dealt with Junior and then after it kept happening for about a week I tore into the principal about why it was still happening.  It is a huge liability and safety issue to have a seven year old wandering the school grounds.  All the gates and doors are locked during the day I was assured (because seven year olds cannot climb fences ).  I had to actually ask to have his desk moved to a spot where the teacher can see him while she is teaching.  ROAR.

I get that this is unusual and that most teachers and schools are simply not trained or equipped to deal with a child that has this level of ADHD.