sometimes we are haunted by the demons of our past. like shadows we catch out of the corner of our eye. how deep is the hurt that cannot heal, how striking the betrayal that can not be forgiven? Someone should have told the little boy that these were questions that he didn’t want to ask and should never have answered.

• jrawles

seeing work friends outside of work, they are always way less stressed.  even if they don’t like my orange hat and white crocs. 🙂

People of Earth…just kidding.  Ok I just wanted to shave with everyone  the wild parrots I saw this morning.  The didn’t really want their photo taken and kept throwing things at me,

” I love you”  reply – weirdo

“I love you”  – reply:  you are lovable , it was easy”

and we never got to play barbies.

The title of my autobiography…

My favorite potato chip flavor…

The smell coming from somewhere in my car…

ALL OF THE ABOVE

Tim’s two favorite things to say when he gets into the car.. ” who was in my seat” and “what smells”  I answer truthfully, no one, it bugs me when the seat is forward, move your Fred Flintstone head so I can see, and I don’t know, maybe my left over lunch or something.

My blog is like a neglected friend, it just sits there waiting for me and when I show up all I do is talk about myself.  THe mere fact that I get to write about me should be reason enough to visit it on a thrice daily basis.  Someone told me today that no one uses the word thrice and now I have so they really have no room to stand on.

I test drove a truck that I cannot buy for about 4 years, but it was nice all the same.

Is there anything that cannot be made of Lego’s?

movie time, and a shower.  maybe half a movie then a shower?  maybe that smell in the car was me.

I stayed home from work today, not something I really enjoy doing.  I could have a limb freshly amputated and would still feel guilty.  Something is seriously wrong with my energy level – frustration level.  So I slept, off and on until 1:50.

Mostly on.

I had a dream that I wrote an opera, composed is more accurate, but in my dream I had created one.  I am not even a fan of opera, go figure.  I like painting in my dreams, my work always comes out nicely.  My opera was haunting and angry.  Freud anyone?

I slept with my NAP pillow, recently purchased from Brookstone.  It is like sleeping on concrete that is molded to your head.  I liked it.  I have latency in my tendons in my joints.  Even my tendons are too tired to do their job.

I really don’t like missing work, at least not when everyone else is working.  My work defines me.  I heard someones father told them once ” find something you love to do, and then find someone to pay you to do it”  makes sense to me.  I sort of fell into financial aid, and although I enjoy the numbers part of it, it is really draining to me  to be yelled at so frequently.  I have a handful of students who seem to thrive on trying to yell me into helping.  I am more than happy to help, the yelling really isn’t necessary.

Oh, to top it off, I took the dogs outside to  “make” and one of them rolled in poo.  Yuck.  So I gave one of them a bath with a tshirt tied around my face because the smell was awful and we all know I don’t do well with smells.  I can see blood and guts, but I cannot do bad smells or dead dogs. (Tim and I saw a dead black lab on the side of the freeway on ramp a week ago and it is still bothering me)  As my bathroom, my shower and myself were soaking wet and covered in dog hair and wet dog smell I then washed the second dog.  Now I am exhausted again.  Not really a choice on the first dog considering the poo factor.  All them same.

I think I started 4 movies on NETFLIX  today and watched none of them.  I am a little miffed at them for not putting season 3 of Dexter online, but I probably would not have slept as much today if it was available so there is, I guess, a silver lining.

I have a new manager at work.  I clam I don’t want her as a manager.  I say that every time.  I’m loyal, and I like all of my managers eventually.  Spoiled brat I am. (my best Yoda impression)  I will say that she seems incurably intelligent. I’m not  anything but jealous I suppose.  Will I ever come across as that professional?  That responsible?

I should be an art teacher.